Teen Suicide Suicide can be prevented if friends and family can reach into teen's world of despair
This article was reprinted from The Orange County Register (Lisa Liddane, Reporter) by Chattanooga Times-Free Press, March 8, 2004.
It starts with a nagging thought about your friend. 'Something's not right here. Could he or she be thinking about, well, suicide? Nah, they're just typical teen growing pains.'
Stop right there. Those 'growing pains' may be more than your friend can handle.
These teens may feel helpless and hopeless, believing that death is the only solution to their pain, said Dr. Lawrence Budner, assistant clinical professor of child psychiatry at University of California, Irvine, and a spokesman for the Orange County Psychiatric Society.
'The kids really don't want to die,' Budner said. 'They just want to stop the pain, but they didn't know how else to do it. They're in a deep, deep hole--that's how they feel.'
What you can do is to find ways to reach into their world of despair. You may be able to stop suicide.
Budner and Penny Flaherty, spokeswoman for the Orange County Chapter of the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program and the American Academy of Pediatrics, offer advice to parents and friends of teens on how to prevent suicide:
Know that suicidal thoughts are incredibly common. Among high school students, more than half will talk about or entertain the thought of suicide. Five percent to 10 percent have made suicide attempts that they never mention to their parents or other authority figures.
Look for any unusual changes in habits and behavior, including the following: increases or decreases in eating and/or sleeping, neglect of personal appearance, violent actions, rebellious behavior, running away, alcohol/drug use, decline in quality of schoolwork, persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, decrease or loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, apathy to things they once liked, giving away valued belongs, cleaning out their room and sudden cheerfulness after a period of depression.
Pay attention to statements that hint at suicide. 'Almost all people who commit suicide have made veiled references about suicide to somebody,' Budner said. A teen sometimes may tell a friend, 'I'm better off dead,' or 'I feel like killing myself.' But sometimes the statements are less obvious, such as 'I won't be a problem much longer,' or 'It doesn't matter anymore.' Sometimes, the statements come out as jokes. In other cases, they may express suicidal thoughts through art, poems, diary entries or music.
Don't hesitate to ask if you suspect your friend is thinking about suicide. Don't be afraid to use the word 'suicide.' Sometimes, a question that shows concern is all a teen needs to open up. 'People are sometimes afraid that asking someone if he or she is contemplating suicide is putting the idea in that person's head,' Budner said. Asking is always better than dismissing the possibility, he said.
Ask them to talk about how they feel. Then, listen and be empathetic. Don't lecture, judge or argue. Instead, after listening, reassure them that you care or love them, that no matter how hopeless the situation seems, it can be worked out, and you are there to help.
Remove access to guns, knives, razors, ropes and medications that can be used for suicide. One of the reasons teens who want to commit suicide are able to do so is that they can find guns or take an overdose of medications. And even if the teens fail in the first attempt, a large number will try again, Budner said.
Get help immediately. Find an adult who can help, such as a school counselor, a teacher or a parent.
Emotionally Charged Situations That Could Push Teens Over the Edge:
The reasons behind teen suicides are complex. About 90 percent of teens who commit suicide have underlying depression, according to Dr. Lawrence Budner, associate clinical professor of child psychiatry at University of California, Irvine.
But there are risk factors, according to a report in Kids Health/Nemours Foundation.
Teens are at high risk when they:
experience the breakup of a romance
are unexpectedly pregnant
face problems out of their control, such as divorce, alcoholism of a family member, or exposure to domestic violence
have suffered physical or sexual abuse
have poor relationships with their parents, lack a support network, are socially isolated, devalued or rejected
have a family history of depression or suicide
experience feelings of helplessness and worthlessness that often accompany depression
abuse alcohol or drugs
express their feelings violently
have previously attempted suicide
experience parental pressure to achieve in school and other activities
feel deep shame about an experience, event or perceived failure
